Month: May 2018

#UpbeatAuthors: Next Step on the Ladder

I am currently in a strange state of waiting. Or maybe it’s a holding pattern.

I’m facing retirement from my day job within the next five to ten years. Hard to believe the time has come to start thinking about that, but there you have it. Another rung on the ladder of my life. I have taken steps–many–to make this happen comfortably. But I like my day job. I like my co-workers. So I’ll hold out until I’m truly ready to retire.  Or the job is no longer there. That happens, you know. I’ve survived vanishing jobs before. If it should happen again, I’m in better shape. I’m ready for that next rung.

One of my publishers just closed its doors. I had five titles with them. I want to self-publish those books.  Self-publishing is the next rung on my author career ladder. There are steps I need to take to make this happen. More treads to climb. But the outcome will be worth the effort. 

It’s a good feeling to have career plans in place, along with the knowledge that I’m flexible enough to handle whatever comes my way. Too bad the rest of life isn’t as secure.

Pet Peeve

I tend to spend a lot of time on line at the local fast-food franchise’s drive thru. It’s close to my Day Job; it’s easy to grab breakfast on the way in in the morning, and it’s convenient for lunch when I’m in a hurry. Over the years, I’ve observed a lot of different behaviors, and there is one that really irks me.

The line is long. We patiently wait our turn to reach the speaker and place our order. The vehicle in front of us has been on line a long time, too. So why does the driver wait until s/he is at the speaker to find out what everyone else in the vehicle wants to order? Seriously? You couldn’t have had this conversation in the five minutes you were on line before you arrived at the speaker?

#UpbeatAuthors: Self Esteem

I just finished reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck. In the chapter on self-esteem, the author examines the late 20th century trend to make everyone feel better about themselves about everything: participation awards, trophies, grade inflation, etc.  The mantra was “every single one of us can be exceptional and massively successful.” A whole industry grew up around this theory.

Common sense tells us, “maybe not.” The author observed: “adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults.” He also posits, “A true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves.” If you feel good about yourself, even when you’re messing up everything, you develop a false sense of competency. That is not self-esteem; it’s entitlement.

Not one of us is entitled to anything. We all have room for self-improvement.

Besides: who gets to define success for me? For you?

We can’t all be Bill Gates or Warren Buffet. I do not have the skills or inclination to be a brain surgeon, an auto mechanic, or a plumber. Nor am I suited to be an executive. I don’t need the current definition of success. Every day I see people stressed because their self-esteem can’t take not being “the best”,  being on the fast track to…somewhere.  Why? So they can eventually relax and retire? I’m all for relaxing right now, while I can still enjoy it. My self-esteem doesn’t need the false glorification of other people’s opinions and decisions.

My goal at this point in my life is to be content.

  • I don’t want a corporate career. I had one. I had a very cool one. It went away; I moved on.
  • I’ve always wanted to be a published author. Now I am one. While best seller status would be wonderful, it isn’t necessary to make me content.
  • I like my day job. Yes, there are frustrations. Yes, there are things I can do better in it. Each time I master a new aspect of my job, I feel positive about my ability to adapt. Frustrations simply mean I’m human, with human responses.

Self esteem shouldn’t be wrapped up in what you are. There’s an update to an old (offensive) saying: “Too many coaches, not enough players.” To which my self-esteem responds: “Hey! I’ll warm the bench.” That’s not low self-esteem talking. It’s the voice of a woman who’s comfortable with herself and has nothing to prove to anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Me

I have a good life.  A good husband. Good children. Good job. Good friends. Actually, it is a great life.

I get to spend my non-day job hours writing. I have written books that editors have thought good enough to publish, which is the culmination of a lifelong dream. I have attained my goals. How many people get to say that?

My current goal is to be happy. Being happy, for me, is taking delight in little things: stars in a clear night sky; the colors of a sunny autumn day; an unkempt flower garden; good food; a song that moves me. I’m lucky in that if I want to buy a pretty planning calendar or a cool new computer bag, I can. So I do. But do I need things to make me happy? No.

I try to keep my social media presence upbeat. We all have downsides in our lives, because that’s part of living. That doesn’t mean I need to dwell on bad days. But if I can spin the bad into something funny, something to make someone laugh, that’s a good thing.

I don’t need to pat myself on the back for being a good person. I don’t need to build myself up by judging the choices of others. They do their thing; I do mine.

Life is organic. Go with the flow. Relax. Enjoy the ride.