One of my brain’s favorite past times is reminding me of every stupid thing I’ve said in a social situation (as an introvert, I’m socially awkward, so this can go on for hours!), every mistake I made raising my children, things at various Day Jobs I could have handled better, and so on.

Sometimes I think my brain hates me.

But then it comes up with a story idea. A great story idea. A story idea I love.

And I’ve come up with a method to fool my brain. When it starts in with the “remember the time you said…” routine, I remind it we have a plot problem to think about. We need to write the next scene: what is it?

My brain falls for it every time.

A Day Job co-worker and I were talking the other day. We’ve both been through some rocky patches in our lives. Different stuff, but life-changing events. And we both said the same thing: staying in the normal helped.

No matter what happens to you, life continues. Jobs, families, bills. Too often, the grief, the panic, the “what-am-I-supposed-to-do-now?” are overwhelming. One can feel as if one is drowning. I will never forget the waves of helplessness washing over me as circumstances seemed to conspire against me. Nightmares invaded my sleep.

During one particularly trying time in our lives, I said to my husband, “Go to the party, just like you planned. I’m going to my meeting. We can’t stop living. As long as we keep things normal for the children, we prove we’re stronger than what’s happened.”

Yes, people need to grieve. To rant, rave, vent, smash dishes, scream into pillows, or whatever else is therapeutic for that person at that moment. Then take a shower, get dressed, and go to work. Do your normal. Or find a new normal that carries you forward. Keep busy. Scrub your kitchen floor. Plant a garden.

This moment is temporary.